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    Home Unlabelled I made a node package to clean your terminal with a squeegee Programmer Humor

    I made a node package to clean your terminal with a squeegee Programmer Humor

    February 23, 2022

    I made a node package to clean your terminal with a squeegee Programmer Humor

    I made a node package to clean your terminal with a squeegee

    Posted: 22 Feb 2022 02:28 PM PST

    hehe

    Posted: 22 Feb 2022 06:51 PM PST

    Cache me outside

    Posted: 22 Feb 2022 06:19 AM PST

    Real programmers read the API reference

    Posted: 22 Feb 2022 11:35 AM PST

    Nobody can turn it in now

    Posted: 22 Feb 2022 02:13 PM PST

    Poor Clippy

    Posted: 22 Feb 2022 11:35 AM PST

    Meetings as a developer

    Posted: 22 Feb 2022 03:32 PM PST

    import fuzzywuzzy

    Posted: 22 Feb 2022 10:16 AM PST

    When programming almost gets you put on a watch list

    Posted: 22 Feb 2022 04:28 AM PST

    I have trouble naming reddit posts too.

    Posted: 22 Feb 2022 01:19 PM PST

    When you get back your mergerequest to fix an error

    Posted: 22 Feb 2022 01:18 AM PST

    lol, yup pretty much

    Posted: 22 Feb 2022 03:51 PM PST

    No

    Posted: 22 Feb 2022 09:04 AM PST

    Gender

    Posted: 22 Feb 2022 06:46 PM PST

    this is fine

    Posted: 22 Feb 2022 03:40 AM PST

    Programmer Revenge Story

    Posted: 22 Feb 2022 07:23 AM PST

    First I'd like to apologize if this does not belong here, I wanted to share ths story and I thought it was rather comical.

    I was hired as a temp for this big food distribution company of which I will remain nameless for anonymity sakes. The womans position I was filling in for was going on maternity leave soon. I really needed the job at the time so I took it and they promised if I did an "amazing job they'd hire me full time". I was a raw materials supply distributor, basically I ordered supplies and sent them where they needed to go for scientists to make "new foods".I have a really strong background in computer programming. After learning how to do the job in a month or so she had her baby and went on leave. I completely automated this womans job in a matter of weeks using only excel and powershell. I didn't say a word until the end of my last few weeks where I basically did very little in the time leading up to her return. I added in a few updates for changes in workflows and verified all the data was correct at the end of the day after it ran but that was all I really did. Toward the last few weeks of my temp period the woman returned from maternity leave. I showed her what I had done. Her jaw had about hit the floor in awe that I had made all the hard work she was doing for years be completed by a computer program in a few minutes everyday. In our next team meeting it was brought up that I would need to get everyone 'online' with this program before my temp period was up.

    DING DING DING! went off in my head that they are not planning on keeping me with that idiotic comment. So I obliged and got everyone "on board". Un-beknownst to them I put in a clause in the powershell script with a CLIXML encryption locally to the PC I was using. It grabs a specific encrypted date a few weeks out from my termination date and would just stop working after that date or once they had wiped my local folder on the PC or just simply not having the PC on. If they had decided to keep me I could just turn it off and no would have been the wiser. I added this snippet to every IF statement and FOR loop possible with a new variable everytime(thanks $powershell) in the code so if someone was to go through it to try and fix it, it would be a nightmare to fix if they had the audacity too with identifying and renaming every variable and clause and regenerating the clixml.

    So as you can imagine I was not offered a full time position for said company and when I had mentioned the comments when I first started for "doing an amazing job" (which I beleive I had fit the criteria for doing so). My boss said that with SAP coming into the production team next week my expertise would not be needed... A month or so later I got a text from my old boss saying that he needed to talk to me about that program I wrote. It was twos days after my magic shut off date. I knew exactly what the call was about and never returned the call as I had a better job offer already lined up. I feel if I had returned the call I wouldnt be able to stop laughing.

    submitted by /u/mbxz7LWB
    [link] [comments]

    Node.js, Fight me

    Posted: 22 Feb 2022 06:31 AM PST

    'dont assume gender'

    Posted: 22 Feb 2022 07:05 PM PST

    Well…

    Posted: 21 Feb 2022 06:12 PM PST

    Why read docs when you can debug

    Posted: 22 Feb 2022 08:48 AM PST

    Change my mind

    Posted: 22 Feb 2022 01:49 AM PST

    It do be like that ��

    Posted: 22 Feb 2022 04:57 PM PST

    Doncha hate it when that happens

    Posted: 22 Feb 2022 05:33 PM PST

    But we need them to hit the ground running #amiright?

    Posted: 22 Feb 2022 11:31 AM PST

    Whitespace are characters too

    Posted: 22 Feb 2022 04:47 PM PST
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