I made a node package to clean your terminal with a squeegee Programmer Humor

I made a node package to clean your terminal with a squeegee
hehe
Cache me outside
Real programmers read the API reference
Nobody can turn it in now
Poor Clippy
Meetings as a developer
import fuzzywuzzy
When programming almost gets you put on a watch list
I have trouble naming reddit posts too.
When you get back your mergerequest to fix an error
lol, yup pretty much
No
Gender
this is fine
Programmer Revenge Story
Node.js, Fight me
'dont assume gender'
Well…
Why read docs when you can debug
Change my mind
It do be like that ��
Doncha hate it when that happens
But we need them to hit the ground running #amiright?
Whitespace are characters too

I made a node package to clean your terminal with a squeegee

Posted: 22 Feb 2022 02:28 PM PST

submitted by /u/captainepeper
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hehe

Posted: 22 Feb 2022 06:51 PM PST

submitted by /u/_woffles_
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Cache me outside

Posted: 22 Feb 2022 06:19 AM PST

submitted by /u/hakunamateta
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Real programmers read the API reference

Posted: 22 Feb 2022 11:35 AM PST

submitted by /u/noneofyourearwax
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Nobody can turn it in now

Posted: 22 Feb 2022 02:13 PM PST

submitted by /u/quickdaffy
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Poor Clippy

Posted: 22 Feb 2022 11:35 AM PST

submitted by /u/Nyckname
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Meetings as a developer

Posted: 22 Feb 2022 03:32 PM PST

submitted by /u/aperiaZesbe
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import fuzzywuzzy

Posted: 22 Feb 2022 10:16 AM PST

submitted by /u/Crayons_and_Cocaine
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When programming almost gets you put on a watch list

Posted: 22 Feb 2022 04:28 AM PST

submitted by /u/camthafrog
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I have trouble naming reddit posts too.

Posted: 22 Feb 2022 01:19 PM PST

submitted by /u/CopperyMarrow15
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When you get back your mergerequest to fix an error

Posted: 22 Feb 2022 01:18 AM PST

submitted by /u/aaron2005X
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lol, yup pretty much

Posted: 22 Feb 2022 03:51 PM PST

submitted by /u/ur_mum_goes_to_uni
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Posted: 22 Feb 2022 09:04 AM PST

submitted by /u/roxanneonreddit
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Gender

Posted: 22 Feb 2022 06:46 PM PST

submitted by /u/eisbdu
[link] [comments]

this is fine

Posted: 22 Feb 2022 03:40 AM PST

submitted by /u/mossposs2
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Programmer Revenge Story

Posted: 22 Feb 2022 07:23 AM PST

First I'd like to apologize if this does not belong here, I wanted to share ths story and I thought it was rather comical.

I was hired as a temp for this big food distribution company of which I will remain nameless for anonymity sakes. The womans position I was filling in for was going on maternity leave soon. I really needed the job at the time so I took it and they promised if I did an "amazing job they'd hire me full time". I was a raw materials supply distributor, basically I ordered supplies and sent them where they needed to go for scientists to make "new foods".I have a really strong background in computer programming. After learning how to do the job in a month or so she had her baby and went on leave. I completely automated this womans job in a matter of weeks using only excel and powershell. I didn't say a word until the end of my last few weeks where I basically did very little in the time leading up to her return. I added in a few updates for changes in workflows and verified all the data was correct at the end of the day after it ran but that was all I really did. Toward the last few weeks of my temp period the woman returned from maternity leave. I showed her what I had done. Her jaw had about hit the floor in awe that I had made all the hard work she was doing for years be completed by a computer program in a few minutes everyday. In our next team meeting it was brought up that I would need to get everyone 'online' with this program before my temp period was up.

DING DING DING! went off in my head that they are not planning on keeping me with that idiotic comment. So I obliged and got everyone "on board". Un-beknownst to them I put in a clause in the powershell script with a CLIXML encryption locally to the PC I was using. It grabs a specific encrypted date a few weeks out from my termination date and would just stop working after that date or once they had wiped my local folder on the PC or just simply not having the PC on. If they had decided to keep me I could just turn it off and no would have been the wiser. I added this snippet to every IF statement and FOR loop possible with a new variable everytime(thanks $powershell) in the code so if someone was to go through it to try and fix it, it would be a nightmare to fix if they had the audacity too with identifying and renaming every variable and clause and regenerating the clixml.

So as you can imagine I was not offered a full time position for said company and when I had mentioned the comments when I first started for "doing an amazing job" (which I beleive I had fit the criteria for doing so). My boss said that with SAP coming into the production team next week my expertise would not be needed... A month or so later I got a text from my old boss saying that he needed to talk to me about that program I wrote. It was twos days after my magic shut off date. I knew exactly what the call was about and never returned the call as I had a better job offer already lined up. I feel if I had returned the call I wouldnt be able to stop laughing.

submitted by /u/mbxz7LWB
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Node.js, Fight me

Posted: 22 Feb 2022 06:31 AM PST